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By: Null of Undefined
January 24 2025

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Girl Divers

Skip Straight to the Horny Parts

Synopsis

Super Earth Needs you!!

Girl Divers is a 2d overhead shmup game and parody of Helldivers. It was developed and published by Sweet Cakes Games. Version 1.0.0 released out of early access on Nov 14th, 2024. Sweet Cakes Games also has a Free to Play game out called My Bath Tub Companion that I'll likely be taking a look at soon.

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WELCOME TO SPACE, CITIZEN. Take control of Girl Diver Commanders Sunny, Dash, and Sister, to push the bug menace out of Super Earth's territory. Maybe find the Bug Princess and bring her back to base for some boning. Maybe you go on a mission to find your lost cat. Anything is possible with the help of glorious SPACE DEMOCRACY.

Story / Characters

Story

It's an unspecified amount of time in the future, and Super Earth is at war with the Bugs, and that war spans entire star systems. The only ones keeping humanity safe from the bug threat are the Girl Divers. Elite special forces who give their lives for the good of Democracy. You get it. It's basically Helldivers with tiddy.

Characters

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Sunny is the first character you take control of. She's the Commander of the Girl Divers and is leading the assault on the Bug home planet, and the mysterious Bug Queen.

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Dash is the first character you're likely to unlock. Despite Sunny ostensibly being the main character, Dash has much more of a storyline. She finds and rescues her cat after her home planet is attacked, she gets a lab grown penis, and she seduces the beautiful Bug Princess. That's big Main Character energy.

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Sister is the second character I unlocked. She's got a more mature MILFy bodytype in most of the character art. Unlike Sunny and Dash, Sister has already proven herself on the field of battle.

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Princess is the Princess of the Bugs. Dash initially "runs into" her in a feral state, but after being captures, Princess is genetically modified to be more human. She joins in the fight against the bugs, but primarily just wants to spend more time with Dash.

Gameplay

The core gameplay of Girl Divers is a straight-forward overhead shmup (shoot-em-up). You move your character around the map, enemies come at you, and you shoot those enemies. This style of game perfectly mirrors Helldivers' modern run and gun style, though the full impact of the honor and glory are lessened a bit. What can be done?

Near as I could tell all four characters played exactly the same. Any difference there may have been in base stats weren't felt. Progressing through the game unlocks different weapons and armor options, both of which adjust the feeling of the gameplay slightly. There's a pretty wide variety of weapon types, but generally the ones unlocked later are stronger than the ones before, so there's a feeling of progression.

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You jump world to world and complete objectives just like Helldivers. There's generally 1 or 2 per planet and most can be cleared in a minute or two. The different objective types are things like:

  • Killing Bug Nests
  • Launching Nukes
  • Clearing Underground Areas
  • Fighting Big Bugs

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You can call down various Strategems to help you, but I found it largely not needed. For the most part if you just keep picking up ammo as it drops you rarely have to do much of anything else.

Overview

Girl Divers has a cute style and a decent gameplay loop. The story doesn't overstay its welcome and there are plenty of sex scenes sprinkled throughout. Viewing the gallery after I beat the game surprised me with a few sex scenes I hadn't even seen, because they only happen when you lose (And I never lose 😎[I lost a few times]). Though they feel kind of incongruous.

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I liked walking around on the little ship between missions. and I LOVE how the little pixel boobs bounce when you do. There are a couple of characters to interact with on the ship. Victoria, the ship's Pilot who also handles switching characters, and Cute Officer, who represents Super Earth and occasionally sends specific characters off on side stories, which ultimately become sex scenes.

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Horny Parts

  • Pixel Boobs

    The character sprites are so cute, but I wish their appearance changed with different equipment. As it is they always look the same.

  • Fullscreen Renders

    Throughout the game, most of the story is delivered via fullscreen renders.

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  • In-Game Character

    She wiggles, she takes battle damage, and you can pick her outfit!

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  • Cumflation

    Underutilized fetish imo.

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  • Futa

    Not only does the Bug Princess have a penis, Dash goes on a side quest to grow one.

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Horniest Part

  • Animation

    There's only 2 animated scenes in the whole game, but they're both pretty good.

Rating

Positive

Girl Divers feels like a Newgrounds game in the best way. It has a heart to its artstyle that reminds me of playing pornogames in my youth. While those heady days are long behind me I can think on them fondly while I play this game.

There are a few parts of the game that make me wish that there was just a little more, that it went just a bit further. Things like the equipment not changing the character sprite's appearance, or that only 2 of the MANY sex scenes in the game are animated. But it's still deserving of it's v1.0.0 semver designation. I'd say it was a job well done.

Additional Things of Note

FOR SUPER EARTH!!!!!!! alt

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