Apr 29th 2020
Tags: steam, pc, dicks, indie
Table of Contents
Recent Articles
- Early Accsex: Orc Massage
Jun 13th 2022 | Editorial
You are a big green orc with a penchant for massage. Your goblin friend encourages you to start a career by offering massages to the local population of monster girls. Your three VIP clients each have their own short story to progress which evolves in to more... attentive massages each time. Are there strict ethical guidelines that every massage therapist must follow in order to maintain their license? Yes, but when these VIP clients want the big green D it would honestly just be rude to refuse.
- Hentai Houseparty: Gyaru Gangbang
Apr 9th 2022 | Review
You are a college aged "loser virgin" who was recently blackmailed into letting 3 gals move into your house. While they start off bossing you around and running the show, once they experience your supermassive junk they become your ever loving sex slaves. But how far can you push their limits? Turns out, pretty dang far.
- Squid Girls 18+
Mar 26th 2022 | Review
You are a young man named Craig. You love money and are great at manipulating people. After a failed suicide attempt you join a contest to win an obscene amount of money. The only catch? Alright you get it. It's Squid Games. We all know the deal. Even if you haven't seen the show you've probably absorbed enough through cultural osmosis to get the gist.
Popular Articles
- Early Accsex: Orc Massage
Jun 13th 2022 | Editorial
You are a big green orc with a penchant for massage. Your goblin friend encourages you to start a career by offering massages to the local population of monster girls. Your three VIP clients each have their own short story to progress which evolves in to more... attentive massages each time. Are there strict ethical guidelines that every massage therapist must follow in order to maintain their license? Yes, but when these VIP clients want the big green D it would honestly just be rude to refuse.
- Last Origin
Feb 29th 2020 | Review
This review is going to be a little different (I know I say that a lot). Last Origin is only available in Korea, and while there is an English patch for the Android version, it only translates most of the menu options. All of the character dialogue is unreadable to me. Because of that, I almost didn't know if I should review this game
- Make It Sexy: Ultra Street Fighter IV
Jan 27th 2020 | Editorial
As stated in my review of Fight Angel, Street Fighter is one of my favorite series of all times. Not only does it have the best (for me) combat system, but it has some of the hottest characters in existence. Fighting games always have the best girls/boys, and this game proves it. But can we make it... sexier?
Similar Articles
- Being a DIK: Season 1
Apr 8th 2020 | Review
You are a bright young student who just got accepted into B&R college! You have to navigate classes, pledging a frat, and juggling multiple love interests! But you also have a girl back home to think about. Or do you? You don't really know, but you're doing the best you can!
- BoneCraft
Jan 6th 2020 | Review
Bonecraft, a parody of StarCraft and WarCraft has you take on the role of the leader of the Space Wranglers. A group of space cowboys that travel the universe in search of pussy of all kinds.
- Cyber Agent
Jul 8th 2020 | Review
I'm gonna be honest, the story with this one is a little hard to follow. You're the captain of some sort of fighting team consisting of you and two space ladies. You control a gun turret to defeat waves of enemies. Doing so unlocks lewd scenes! While the gameplay feels like it was made from a youtube Unity tutorial, the art is actually much higher quality
Genital Jousting
Skip Straight to the Horny Parts
Synopsis
Genital jousting is a game in which you control a member of peen-society who is trying to compensate where he has fallen short in life. It’s a humor game where the challenge comes from it being hard to control a character while trying to do mundane things, ala Octodad or QWOP.
Early on I want to clarify a small nitpick I had with the game, though it is called Genital Jousting, there are only penises in it. There are no other genitals. Now I understand the power of alliteration and it is an evocative name. But I would suggest a name like Phallus Fencing, which more so clarifies that you are in for floppy fun specifically.
The plot of the game follows John, an average seeming member of society. We join him stiff with fear as he has just learned of his high school reunion. He is anxious to return to the place that no one loved him and everyone rejected him.
John decides that the best way to show off to the peens of his past would be showing up to his high school reunion with a pretty peen who will be the envy of all his former classmates. He decides to court his coworker, bragging to her about his new promotion. However, she grows more flaccid about John the more she gets to know him, closing the door in his head at the end of their date.
John, Realising that he has nothing to offer as a member… of society, decides Hard cash is the way to a pensive partner’s pulsating core. So he does what anyone who feels unsure of themselves does: he goes on a spending spree, blasting his fat wads all over town.
Despite all his lovely possessions, John’s ugly personality drives away all potential mates. So he decides to become rock hard and will curl weights until others love him as they should. After hitting the gym for months and transforming his physical self, no one cares anymore about John than before.
He ends up at the reunion alone and engorged with rage. He lashes out at his peers who he views as the source of all his anguish in life. Only for it to be revealed to him that the reason no one liked him growing up was that he was… a dick.
The gameplay was overall fine, I had fun while playing the game for the most part, though the controls and physics did become frustrating at times. Which I guess is sort of the point of these types of games. But on a couple of occasions, I ran into issues where controlling my unit was hard for reasons that were unenjoyable, such as progression items ending up under props, or trying to move through small spaces. Or times when the challenge moving didn’t feel fully intended: there is a specific outfit in the game which has a little hat, the hat has collision and causes you to move much slower as it drags along the ground; forcing me to wiggle and giggle to make John lose the hat each time I enter a scene.
Horny Parts
- Dicks
- Dicks
- And More Dicks
Rating
Positive
I enjoyed the game Overall. It was well written and I was curious to see where the story went the whole time. Though the gameplay did not pull me in, it in no way hindered my enjoyment of the game. It was a fun, light-hearted way to unwind. And it has a nice little message: The world is a dick, but that doesn’t mean you have to be.
Thank you so much for reading. Please consider following us on Twitter or subscribing to Patreon